It is important to gauge to what extent, if at all, NT's case and perceptions have shifted. This is how she stated her position in her first affidavit sworn in June 1992:-
"I believe that my mother's application is ill-founded and based on fears and concerns that are not well based in reality and have been exaggerated, possibly by people with the deliberate and financial interest in causing people like myself in the Christian fellowship of which I am member problems. ....I ask to be free to make the decisions that every adult parent is free to make about how they choose to live their life and bring up their children, and I ask this Court to reject my mother's application which effectively would, for years to come, impose restrictions upon me that are neither just nor necessary and would severely restrict my basic human rights to freedom of religion, association and the right to bring up my own children."
In her answers to the Official Solicitor's Interrogatories, she denied substantially the allegations of inappropriate sexual behaviour and could not countenance the possibility that any over severe discipline had been exacted against the children.
On day 63 of the hearing she began her evidence. 54 witnesses had preceded her. She heard most of them. She started by telling me that she wished to remain in the Family and that nothing she had heard or read had caused her to change her views about Father David. The videos of the young children dancing were:
"A sad mistake but my mind is so full I cannot accept that it was done for sexual gratification. If they were sick and perverted and disgusting I would be extremely concerned. ...But I think they were naive and innocent sad mistakes."
As for MB's allegation that Berg had masturbated her and attempted to have sexual intercourse with her, she said that if that were the case she would be concerned. She could not say that the allegations were not true, she hoped they were not true. She would certainly be upset if Berg had been going around having sexual contact but she did not believe he was a pervert and that he would have harmed anybody.
"Everything I've read has taught me that he loves people. I do not believe he is a pervert."
She did not believe that sexual activity with children had in any way been encouraged by the leadership though she acknowledged that the publication of the Davidito story was a "serious misjudgment." As for the Victor Programmes and so forth, these were done at a "experimental stage" but, "we've learnt - it's now history."
She did not see that the children within the Family were in any way socially deprived: in fact, the Family was the best place in the world to bring children up because there S would know God. He would learn that "David Berg was a good man with good fruit."
Dr Heller's evidence was interposed. NT listened to it. She returned to give evidence. She immediately reasserted her belief in the Law of Love and her belief that if any child had been abused it was not in accordance with the Law of Love. Berg was certainly not to blame for anything except perhaps the Davidito book. She could not accept that any abuse had occurred because of his teaching. She did not believe that Berg had seen the video on which the young boy and young woman speak of their sharing. If he had seen it she believed he would have stopped it. If that had been Sally's interpretation of the Law of Love, she had got it wrong. NT was wholly unable to explain why the 24 year old woman concerned, Sally, said in the video, "Hi Dad and Maria" before going on to chorus "Amen" to the boy J1 and Berg's grandson H1 having the chance to share with her.
Various passages from Davidito were put to her and she observed that if Berg had thought it was wrong and harmful he would have stopped it. "I love him and trust him".
Then Dr Cameron gave evidence and NT listened but probably did not hear. She still could not bring herself to condemn Berg.
"Very possibly his judgment has been wrong."
"I don't think his judgment was impaired, I say he has made a mistake. I don't think this led The Family astray and it is another matter whether some did go astray. If the people had correctly followed the Law of Love letter, this wouldn't have happened."
She asserted:-
"Mistakes in the past are past because we have learnt from them. They are not in my group today. It is not necessary to know the past because I know the people today, I know the motivation today, I know the rules agreed today."
NT was subjected to a persistent cross-examination and most of the offending literature was put to her. She continued to assert as I noted it:-
"Not Father David's fault if people acted wrongly under the Law of Love. He is responsible for the Law of Love not for the wrongful application of it. I do not accept that his writings have caused anyone damage - on the contrary he has effected miraculous changes to thousands of lives because he has given us through his writings a personal relationship with Jesus we would never otherwise have had."
She became exasperated at having to answer:
"Silly questions which have nothing to do with the Family today. What bearing has it to do with my case, the way I bring S up. Such a waste of time and pain in the neck however much we say it was a mistake and it won't happen again."
She had no worries about those who were in power.
NT was more forthcoming in acknowledging that serious harm had been caused to the teenagers subjected to excessive discipline. She saw no reason not to trust S to MM's care even though she had been in charge at the time of the horsewhipping incident. Despite those concerns she had not discussed these matters with RM and MM and had only talked generally to RB and VB and MA and LA. For NT no alarm bells rang suggesting there were risks for the future because she believed the lessons had been learnt from the mistakes that had been made.
"People know when they have made a mistake and they want to learn and to change, therefore S is not at risk."
NT freely admitted that when she was in charge of a seven year old girl who had "quite a lot of problems," she was present when Heidi administered two swats with a switch cut from the garden. She also admitted that she had seen a fly swatter being used in the past. Either her recollection had not been as good or she was not as frank when she came to complete her answers to the interrogatories which denied any such activity! The truth is, I find, that she has changed her position a little and acknowledges that she is older and wiser today.
As for her attitude to her mother, she was ambivalent. She is certainly very angry and bitter. One should not be surprised at that reaction. She protested at times that she did not love her mother but I felt it was a hollow angry protest. The truth is both these parties know of their affection for each other and each would dearly like to be on good terms. The litigation is an inevitable but awful stumbling block. I am inclined to believe NT when she says:-
"I want to be able to have a relationship with my mother. The shepherds are not counselling me not to - they counsel me to set aside the bitterness."
I find that there was at least one occasion when prayers were said against the grandmother but more usually the prayer is that the Plaintiff's case be lost and that NT triumphs. She felt unwilling to stay in the guest house back home in Kenya but hoped with time that the relationship would improve and hostility subside so that she could visit her mother in Kenya. I very much hope that that will come to pass, whether S lives with his grandmother or remains with his mother. Both mother and daughter know perfectly well that, hugely difficult though it would prove to be, nonetheless somehow anger and suspicion must, perhaps gradually, be cast aside after this judgment so that S may know and love each of them without anxiety.
A most important fact emerged after NT had concluded her evidence. She had become pregnant. For all of us involved in this case, be it the parties in particular, or the Court Usher, my clerk and the ladies who type this judgment, the hearing has been a strain. It has been shown on the faces of mother and daughter and they have drawn deeply on the reservoirs of their inner strength. Of course they could not cope alone. Each would have needed some support from friends and loved ones. NT has had other pressures to cope with. When it emerged that SPM had been "sharing" with her at the same time as WA, I ordered that blood tests be taken to determine the paternity of S. That took long weeks. It could not have been easy for NT. She was living in London, under attack from the Official Solicitor for failing to heed Dr Cameron's advice to ensure that S lived with her. He was back at the Ward's home being cared for by The Family and particularly by SB whom NT then seemed to have every intention of marrying. That was not to be. The relationship broke down for reasons which have not been explored and as a result S lost the person he had grown to know as "daddy". He has no knowledge of and little contact with WA who is his real father. WA has now set up with "Oxford S" against whom CA made her accusations. In the circumstances I should be relieved that there is not much, if any, paternal contact.
Under that sort of strain I can whole heartedly sympathize with NT's desire for support, and for a friendly shoulder upon which to cry. She turned to RB. With his wife's, VB's consent, a "sharing" weekend was arranged and NT and RB went to a hotel "to get away from it all." They had sexual intercourse. NT became pregnant. Her son, S2, was born on 5th January 1995.
I take no high moral objection to this conduct. This is not a Court of Morals. It is a Family Court sadly well used, day in and day out, to dealing with children of mothers who move from one relationship to another often with much less excuse than NT can offer. The sad experience of the work in The Family Division is that the children born in this way suffer because they often do not know their father, have little real meaningful contact with him, live with the confusion of different father figures moving in and out of their lives and the lives of their siblings. Nevertheless by her choosing to behave in this way, NT does reduce her capability of meeting her children's needs and increases the harm which her children will suffer and are at risk of suffering, important criteria for me to bear in mind when considering the check list factors set out in Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989.
The judicial function is to find the facts of past events and assess the risks of what lies ahead in the uncertain future. That task has obviously been made immeasurably more complicated in a case like this where one is endeavouring to place one little boy frozen at a moment of time in an organisation which has developed and shifted as much as this one.
Before embarking upon the task of gazing into the crystal ball of the future, I must, but briefly, remind myself of recent trends, developments and changes. I take it as The Family see it and present it to me in their "History of The Family" from 1978 to 1993 which World Services prepared for the purpose of being exhibited to SPM's affidavit in answer to the Official Solicitor's Interrogatories. The key features are these. In 1979 "anti-cult hysteria" drove The Family underground. The "mobile ministry" began. In 1981 there was a concerted missionary migration to Central and South America but especially to the Far East. In the December 1982 letter, "Anywhere with Jesus" Berg had to justify those frequent moves and he did so in these terms:-
"So these psychologists who say, "Oh no, no, no, you mustn't change houses, you mustn't move your children too often from one city or state to another, it's hard on them psychologically to uproot them and tear them away from their accustomed surroundings, it gives them a feeling of instability and insecurity!" - that's the lies of the Devil, absolutely of the Devil, because it's the best thing in the world for 'em! ...It's far more important for us to be attached to each other and to the Lord, then it doesn't matter where we are".
The children were necessarily becoming the focus of attention, because at the end of 1983 children within the group for the first time outnumbered the adults.
In 1984 The Family began to send mission teams into China, the Soviet Union and other countries in the Eastern block. This was the year Debra Davies published her revelations about The Family and there was intense focus on them accordingly. 1985 saw the realisation that the children born into the movement were becoming their first home-spawned teenagers bringing with them all the difficulties that adolescence inevitably involves. 1986 was the year of the Mexican Teen Training Camp and allegedly the beginning of the awakening of the realisation that sexual abuse was prevalent. Thus began the earnest addressing of teenage problems. In 1988 the solution was seen to be in "the School Vision" to be:
"The education of our children is getting to be a monumental thing, a desperate need, really ... One of our biggest jobs, if not the biggest job we have now, is to take care of our children."
It was also the beginning of a campaign to fight for the children. This arose from an ABC television programme and a member's success in the courts of the United States in securing an order for the custody of his three children who had been "cruelly abducted" from him by their ex-member mother. Berg wrote:-
"We're going to put them (our detractors) on notice that they're going to have a fight!... We are going to put them on notice with a declaration of war that if they come to try to steal away our kids, we are going to fight and be violent if necessary, and lay down our lives for our sheep!"
It was good fighting talk - and none the worse for that - but I very much doubt whether the threat of violence was ever intended and there is no scintilla of evidence to suggest that it was, still less is, Family tactics. The leadership have shown greater responsibility than is literally conveyed by that message. I believe them to be even more responsible today than they were then.
In 1989 the problems experienced with their children led to the establishment of the Victor programme for teens. It was the beginning of one of several experiments with their youth. By the end of 1990 the experiment of the School Vision was recognised (but not acknowledged to be) a failure. It was a significant year in other respects. The "summit-90" attended by the leaders set as its main goal the need to become "better shepherds". To achieve that they probably effected a subtle coup d'etat, which, whether intended or not, removed dictatorial power from Berg and established the notion of teamwork from top to bottom. It put power in the hands of the team and removed power from individuals. It was the beginning of the end of Berg's supremacy. Equally importantly, "teamwork" decisions were taken by the team after long deliberation and prayer and after a process of consultation with the lower echelons by a process in which all were encouraged openly to discuss "the shepherding weaknesses of all the leaders present." As so often happens with Family schemes, this acknowledgement of NWO's (those areas of personal weakness which "needed work on") led to misinterpretation, misapplication and potential of abuse as the NWO's joined the OHR's as another means of enforcing control.
1990 saw what The Family regarded as the beginning of "state-sponsored persecution" when 22 children were removed by the authorities in Spain. A second summit was held that year concentrating on the problems The Family were so obviously having with their children and this paved the way for Maria to institute the Discipleship Training Revolution in 1991. What is significant about the DTR is that Maria was very much in charge of it, acting not autocratically but after a real attempt at wide consultation. She wrote:-
"It's obvious that "something's gotta give", and something has got to change! If we want to avoid having all our JETTs and teens becoming dissatisfied, confused and rebellious "problem cases," I think we're going to have to re-evaluate our entire structure and consider revamping and overhauling our entire present method of handling them!"
So began another experiment. I have dwelt at length on unsatisfactory consequences of the programme she instituted which included having a Victor programme in every home. To concentrate on that aspect would, however, be an unfair and wholly biased reflection of all the changes she was seeking to effect. She wished to set up a child-care teamworker in every community to represent the needs of the children of that home in order to help raise the level of child-care awareness in the home. She decreed that child-care or parenting meetings should be held weekly. Whilst I applaud the intention to have a forum in which matters affecting the children could be discussed, my heart sinks at the stifling pressure this puts upon everybody. My heart sinks at all of this public baring of the soul this public beating of the breast, but I do not doubt Maria's good intention.
She achieved much good by the DTR because she insisted that there must be a "Family time" when parents spend at least an hour of each day with their children and a family day "to enjoy a day of fellowship and play, witnessing or outings - whatever they can do to spend quality time together." This is important. It is a recognition of the importance of Family life within communal life. It is a far cry from "One Wife" and earlier attempts to undermine the cohesion of the nuclear Family in order to strengthen the communal tie.
The communal need was not overlooked in the DTR. For the sake of uniformity leading to good order, there had to be "united home discipline standards" for children and adult alike I have already dwelt at length on the abuses which have occurred when discipline which ought to be in the hands of the parents was surrendered unquestioningly to others.
Finally the DTR began to lay down mandatory guidelines for home schooling.
Another significant development in 1991 following the second summit was the decision that the teens and young people "should be given more opportunity to witness and share their faith with others and have more contact with their peers outside of the community." That was translated into action with the establishment by the teens of their own communities, coffee shops and outreach centres. It was also decided that The Family communities world wide should begin "opening up more to outside parties who were interested in The Family and our way of life."
By 1992 the striking feature of Family life was that two thirds of the members were now children. It was the year of "unprecedented persecution". This case had begun and in Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, 142 children were removed from their homes by the authorities. There was "media persecution" in Japan. It is important to note the reaction to that perceived persecution. One is that The Family are now facing their detractors submitting themselves to and acting within the law. NT came back to the jurisdiction no doubt because this Court's remedies are extensive and because I threatened to involve them, but no doubt also because she was encouraged by the leadership to do so. The other reaction has been confirmed by the conclusions of the "Summit `93" that:-
"It's easier to have faith and endure persecution when you realise the Lord has a plan in it for us, and is allowing it for our own good. He said a number of times not to fear, that it's all part of His plan and there is a purpose in it - to strengthen us, purge us, draw us close to Him, and force us out into the open so that (we) can be seen by the whole World!
This is a new day and the Lord has shown us that he now wants us to go on the offensive. This has resulted in a change in the type of media coverage we now receive. Since we are standing up and proclaiming the Truth in the face of persecution, we are getting a much fairer and better representation of our Message in the press. As the media people begin to meet and interview our Family members, visit the homes, and read our statements, many of them are seeing that we truly are innocent of the lies and accusations against us, and their articles and stories portray this. ... Now that our homes in many countries are presenting themselves openly as The Family, it has caused us to improve our sample and presentation to the public, and do more to really minister to people. The Family is being credited with and becoming known for our sincere and successful ministries of singing in orphanages, ministering to juvenile delinquents, assisting in relief efforts in disasters, feeding the homeless, and reaching and caring for the needy in countless ways."
As a result of decisions there taken, The Family launched a world wide campaign to establish contact with religious scholars and sociologists and, at a local level, with Christians of other denominations. In the History from which I am taking this information, World Services wrote,
"though still in its infancy, initial reports on this new ministry are overwhelmingly positive".
The History for 1993 makes interesting but slightly disconcerting reading. It says this:-
"In January it came to Maria's attention that a number of our teens and young adults had some legitimate concerns about The Family, especially regarding the role they play. Maria wanted to hear more, and so instructed the regional leadership world wide to gather groups of teenagers from each area to hold open-forum discussions regarding their desires, their needs, their complaints, etc. She also requested that these teens write personally about the changes that they would like to see made throughout The Family (the problem situations most frequently cited by our teens where the adults' tendency to talk down to them, the adults' failure to give teens due recognition and authority for responsibilities they were already carrying. In short, they wanted to be treated like the responsible young adult Family Members they now are.) All of their suggestions were considered and taken into account. The result was a letter from Maria, "The Personal Encouragement Revolution" (the PER) which was published in June."
What disconcerts me is the suggestion that each area held this forum. I assume such a meeting was held in the British Isles. Minutes of that meeting must have been kept and relayed to Maria. Why have I not seen them? Once again The Family have not given me the full picture, warts and all. I have already referred to the inadequacies of the EM investigations. Here is another example where frankness was probably lacking. If it was, how can I have full confidence in the leadership? My attention was drawn to Peter Amsterdam's summary of Summit-93 where, in listing the benefits from persecution he wrote:-
"But now that we're involved in so many Court cases, we've been forced to make an exception to our important lit classification rules that forbid our giving DO lit to outsiders. We have given some of our legal counsel nearly full sets of MO letters, so they can properly prepare our defence." (My emphasis)
The implications of that statement are that some of the legal representatives do not get even nearly full sets of MO letters and all the representatives are denied some of the letters. Why, oh why? Because there is something to hide? Or because they lack the maturity to trust outsiders?
PER itself was seen as the next step for the young after School Vision and the DTR. Maria thanked those who responded "for opening up your hearts and honestly expressing your deepest feelings and desires and needs." I need refer to only one of the responses that she received:
"In the past, I know it wasn't true, but I sort of felt that "The Family can't ever be wrong." ( I don't remember ever being told that, but that's how I felt) so therefore I took all the blame for problems that I came across, thinking I just had too much pride...."
The emotional development of that child was surely impaired by having unfairly carried the burden of guilt and she wrote,
"It was just so liberating to talk openly about things that normally our group of teens and EAs just don't discuss."
She complaining that in times past she was not free. Maria does seem to recognise that for she writes:-
"Now is the time we've got to loose them and let them go free ... as Dad said in his recent letter ... we need to think of what we were doing when we were their age and loosen up a little and let them burn free."
She reported of the teenagers:-
"You've expressed repeatedly that you want supervision, you want training, you want the adults help, but you just wish they wouldn't smother you, wouldn't be so protective, so possessive, so authoritative."
There are most important lessons for The Family to learn from that. I am not convinced they have learnt them. There, in a sentence, is what is wrong with Family life. The children were protesting that too much "love you, honey" is in fact smothering, so is "drowning them in the Word" in the way referred to in the Heavenly City Seminar Notes; that too little acknowledgement of personal initiatives is too protective; that too many OHRs demanding the revealing of every feeling and emotion is too possessive; and that discipline unrelentingly and harshly imposed is too authoritative. Maria lists the following major areas where change was needed:-
(a) The older teens and EAs request that they should not be treated like children but as responsible young adults.
(b) The teens would like to "eliminate meaningless rules, and to apply the legitimate ones less legalistically."
(c) They would like "more prayerful spirit led application of the Word without such legalistic interpretations that don't allow for much freedom of the spirit. For example, when a teen has a problem, we should not immediately assume that their situation is exactly like Tony's was or exactly like Techi's was or exactly like MB's was etc."
(d) The teens wished more freedom in how they witnessed others .
(e) They would like more choice and authority in their ministries.
(f) They would like more choice in home matters.
(g) They would like more freedom in their relationships and more affection.
(h) They would like more music.
(i) They would like more fun and inspiration.
(j) They would like to see fewer double standards in the home.
Maria pointed out that changes often took time and she asked for patience but she did promise that The Family were trying to make their life better. "Grandpa says if you stop changing, you die, so change is good."
"Important changes in a world-wide work which affect every member of our homes and ministries and schedules and our witnessing and everything, are going to take some time. Besides all that's involved in prayerfully putting these new changes into effect, remember it also takes time for people's old habits to change into new ones, and for their past attitudes to reflect new ways of thinking."
The decision I have to take depends upon how far and how fast Maria is prepared to force change and whether past attitudes can in fact adapt to her new ways of thinking.
Some progress has been made by "The Family Discipline Guidelines" published in June 1994. The reasons given for this include the need to address the concerns of Courts of Law. This is clearly aimed at me, among others!
The word discipline varies in its meaning according to its context. It varies from merely giving instructions and showing verbal displeasure or censure to the loss of privileges, the imposition of additional duties and it includes practices which have been the subject of examination earlier in this judgment. The advice given in this letter is as follows:-
